I Miss You
by BrokenBone
Summary: "I don't know if you can hear me, but I miss you..." One-shot.


**Hiya!**

_Just a one-shot that I threw together because I was in the mood for writing._

_Please enjoy!_

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><p>Clammy hands where opening and closing on their own. Her brow and whole forehead where hurting from all the hours she had spent narrowing her brows time after time. She reached a hand up to paw at the tears that wouldn't stop rolling down her cheeks, her cheeks that by now felt sticky and spongy. Azure blue orbs where surrounded by reddish white as they stared holes into the ground beneath her feet clad in party muddy army boots.<p>

She intently wished for the moss, twigs and occasional disgusting Pulsian critter would burst aflame at her gaze, much so that she could throw herself in them, let them swallow her until she ceased to exist.

Her sibling's name kept echoing through her psyche. _She_ would have understood, _she_ would have listened, held her hand and told her that everything would be fine and that her feelings, thoughts and everything about her was actually normal.

"Serah..."

But Serah was gone. Serah was not going to understand anymore, Serah would no longer listen, no longer hold her hand and no longer tell her that everything is fine and that her thoughts, feelings and everything about her is actually normal.

Because Serah was in crystal now. She might as well never wake with a new focus during her own life cycle.

Unless she herself completed her focus and became crystal, but that would not guarantee that they would ever be awake at the same time ever again. The thought of forever wandering Cocoon and Pulse without her sister wasn't helping, and she pawed more frantically at her cheeks as a steady stream of tears welled up and coveted her already tearstained face.

Sighing deeply, she directed her gaze towards the skies to give her tears free passage down her puffy cheeks. She was too tired to take care of them any longer.  
>Reaching into a pocket on the inside of her Guardian Corps vest —the pocket closest to her heart— she pulled a tear shaped crystal from it. Pressing it against her lips, she kissed it sweetly before squeezing it gently between her fingers and pressing it against her forehead.<p>

"I don't know if you can hear me, Serah," she whispered so that the others wouldn't hear her from the camp just a few meters away. "But if you do, I just need a friendly ear to confide in," she mumbled as she moved the crystal into the palm of her hands. Looking at it, she thought she imagined a slight glimmer in it. Blinking, her tears fell down and stained it. She wiped it off before enclosing it in her palms and held them to her lips.

"You're the only one who ever knew the real me," she began, whispering through a small opening between her palms. "I haven't told anyone, and I know that you wanted me to be confident and comfortable in who I am," she enclosed the crystal in one hand, and found her necklace with the other. Still speaking into the hand containing the crystal, she continued whispering. "But I can't do that, not ever, not without you by my side to hold my hand," her voice cracked under the emotional weight of her words and fresh tears stained her cheeks once more. "Serah, I miss you so, I'm so sorry any of this ever happened," she whispered, her body shaking with contained sobs. "Had I just.. reacted differently... when you came to me. Perhaps.. perhaps things would have been different," she was constantly cut off by the huge lump in her throat as it bounced with every breath and ever sob, hindering her breath and voice from coming forth.

"Lightning?"

Her body, mind and spirit froze.

She hastily cleared her throat and took a deep breath, she released it slowly before straightening her back.

"Yes?"

Her voice was like normal, success.

"Are you hungry? What are you doing back there?" to her horror, the voice was followed by the sounds of rustling leaves and shrubbery came towards her.  
>She panicked and tried to think something, but the only thing she could think about was- "Don't come here!"<br>The rustling stopped instantly and silence fell. Lightning cursed under her breath because she had no idea what to do now or a reason she could give to why the girl couldn't come over.

"Why? Is there something there? Or are you just-" the girl bit her tongue, and Lightning blinked a few times before catching what she had left unsaid.  
>"What- no, no I- er- y-..." <em>dammit! <em>"I don't want you to come because I am meditating and you're disturbing the energies," Lightning wanted to slap herself so hard, who would come up with such a stupid thing and who would fall for it?

The other girl stood silent for a few heartbeats. Lightning could feel sweat trickle down her template as she stared out into the dark forest waiting for the younger girl to leave her be. After what felt like an eternity, she heard rustles moving away from her.

"Okay," the girl said. "I wouldn't take you for a spiritual person, but y'know that's cool," Lightning could hear the smile in her voice and felt relief, seemed like she hadn't messed up too bad.

Turning back to the crystal that she held in her palm tightly. Both joints and knuckles had turned white and she swiftly released her hold. "I'm sorry," she whispered at the unharmed tear piece.

"I don't know if you ever met her, I don't think you have. But I have heard Snow tell you about our little group of misfits," she said and it brought a smile to her face. She was beginning to like the people she was surrounded by. "So I suppose you've heard of Vanille," she sighed slowly. "She's the one, Serah," she whispered and sat down against the tree, leaning her head back. "She's the one who does this to me. It feel weird, and nice, at the same time," she looked down at the small blue crustal, and thought she saw another spark somewhere within. "I feel like running, as if I do, I will lift from the ground and soar. And at the same time, I just want to run over the edge of a cliff, head first..."

She took a pause. Eyes dropping the leaves on the ground.

Looking back at the crystal, she thought she imagined it feeling hot against her palm. She smiled softly. "If you were here, you'd tell me to confess to her, right?" she asked with a small knowing smile directed towards the crystal.

This time, she was almost certain that the crystal became hot and sparked brightly in a way that reminded her of Serah's wonderful smile.

She studied it for a moment.

"I am imagining things, but I'm going to take those imagined signs as if they were from you," she said and stood up. "I'll work up the courage to tell them, to tell everyone," she said.

Bringing the crystal to her lips, she sighed softly before pressing a kiss on its surface. "I miss you, and I love you. Please wake up soon," she whispered, before lovingly putting it back in the small pocket on the inside of her vest.

With a cleansing, deep sigh, she turned on her heel and made her way through the shrubbery, towards the small camp.

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><p><em>Pzzt! Don't forget to review!<br>__Thanks for reading!_


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